If our hearts are connected through love then it is important that we embrace this truth about ourselves. We will have better relationships and become happier. To achieve this we can choose to open our hearts and to feel love for everybody and everything. We will then see the love that we give to others reflected back to us. We can also know the power of our open, loving hearts to help others, either close to us or at a distance.

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While this sounds simple as a concept, it can be much harder to put into practice in our relationships and lives. The problem is that we do not always have an open heart. We might feel frightened or annoyed and feel little generosity to another person, especially if they are behaving in a negative way. So what can we do in these situations to change things for the better?

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Let's take an example. Say your partner or a family member comes home and is grumpy and aggressive with you. Your first reaction might be to avoid them or fight back. This would be the reaction of a closed, unconnected heart. The way forward is to recognise that your partner or family member's heart is also closed because they are in some kind of emotional pain. Judging them with negative thoughts, feelings, body language or words will just make them feel worse. So the trick is to remove your judgments and think back to a time when you did feel love for them. If this is too hard, think of somebody else who you can easily feel love for and embrace these feelings. Once your heart is more open return your thoughts and feelings to your partner or family member and pour as much love onto them as you can. Remember you can do this even if they are at a distance - their heart will feel your love and respond. This will help them to feel better about themselves, soften their hearts and make it more likely that when you meet, that they are more receptive and loving. You will also feel better because your heart has been open and in a loving state - which  is your natural state.

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Sometimes it is hard to not feel triggered emotionally by other people because it brings up difficult and painful experiences from the past. If this is the case then you will need to do some more healing of these issues. The following resources will help you to let go of insecurity, low self-esteem and pain from the past so it does not spoil your relationships today:

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Our sister website that focuses on solving emotional and relationship problems in an open-hearted way.

www.iloveyouloveme.com

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My book that describes how to re-discover self-love and love for a partner where there have been relationship difficulties.

'Bringing Back The Love' - How to solve your relationship problems and find true and lasting love. Available on Amazon.

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The Psychology of Vision organisation  - who run relationship workshops worldwide and use a heart-based, psycho-spiritual model.

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Peter Granger