We know what connection feels like because we can feel it in our bodies, our hearts and our minds. We know how wonderful it feels to be connected and how devastated we can be when these feelings can seemingly disappear. When we find ourselves surrounded by people with whom we connect then life is good. The day is better, the sky bluer and we can manage the issues that come our way. However, life is not always that simple, and when we find ourselves disconnected from those around us, we can need a bit of extra help to get us back to our connected state, back to happiness.
One place to start is to remind ourselves that being in a connected state isn’t something extra for our lives, rather it is a fundamental state of our human existence.
We can also draw on the work and experience of others to help us. This could come in the form of advice from a friend or family member. If you are seeking a deeper understanding of why connection matters and what you can do to increase the connections in your life then you may want to turn to psychological research. There is a growing mass of research that we can easily access through articles, books and podcasts and it tells us that connection is good for our health and that being connected can lead to a happier life.
In this article I am going to focus on on a book called The Good Life by Robert Waldinger and Marc Schultz which explains the work of the Harvard Adult Study. If you are only going to read one book about the importance of connection then in my opinion, this should be the one. The study was set up in the1930's and it’s the longest running longitudinal study in the world. It’s findings have been so profound that they have been the subject of nine books and 200 scientific papers. Over time this study has involved over 2,000 people which has included four generations of people over eight decades.
The original study gathered the opinions and experiences of 268 sophomores studying at Harvard University. These students were selected because they were seen to be likely to grow up to ‘healthy and well-adjusted young men’. The original group comprised students from a range of backgrounds including those who had been awarded scholarships and those who could trace their ancestors to the Pilgrim Fathers.
The study was set up to see what conditions would lead us to happiness. In-depth interviews were coupled with medical information to give a broad view of health and happiness. The directors of the studies (there have been five since the study began) set out to discover how some people managed to thrive and flourish in life and how this attitude helped them to navigate the good times and the difficulties that life presented?
Around a decade later, the study was broadened to include different cohort that was created by Sheldon and Eleanor Glueck. This study focused on fourteen-year-old boys from a challenging area of Boston. Together these studies have given us a rich seam of information from interviews and medical information not only from the original subjects but from their partners and children, and at last women (!) to give more depth to this long running study.
So, what does the study say?
Drawing on the evidence that the study has gathered over decades, Robert Waldinger and Marc Schultz simply conclude that that ‘Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.’
The authors validated their findings by drawing on other studies from all over the world. This included other longitudinal studies that presented an international dimension to their work. Drawing together the combined findings of a large body of research, Robert Waldinger and Marc Schultz feel confident to state that when the people are more connected to family, friends and community they are happier and physically healthier than those who were less well connected.
The Good Life explains the work of the Harvard study known as (HSAD) and has included data and interviews from many of their participants. The book is full of the real life tales of the participants who explain that by investing in strong relationships they have managed the triumphs and challenges of their lives
The book touches on feelings that are the opposite of connection which they call loneliness and they comment that the number of people reporting being lonely is rising. Robert Waldinger and Marc Schultz tell us that about 1 in 4 Americans report feeling lonely and less connected than they would like to be. This rise in loneliness is also reflected in China, the UK and many other countries all over the world. I wonder if this is also reflected in the massive increase in mental health issues in the UK since the Covid pandemic, particularly in young people.
The findings shared in The Good Life showed that people who felt isolated were more likely to experience their health declining sooner than people who reported feeling connected to others. Explaining this point further, the authors found that that lonely people lived shorter lives than those who described themselves as living a life full of connections. Feeling connected is a powerful tool for good health. Sadly many of us do not spend most of our lives in this state.
This book goes onto share how we can improve the amount of happiness that we have in our lives through the connections that we surround ourselves with. If you are interested to find out more then you can find out what The Good Life suggests in part 2.
Their findings went on the share that people who are more isolated than they want to be found that their health declined sooner than people who were more connected to others. Calling on their research, the authors found that lonely people lived shorter lives. We know that life can be hard and that few of us live a straightforward life however Robert Walldinger and Marc Schultz found that having ‘warm, connected relationships protect against the slings and arrows of getting old.
This book explains how we can improve the amount of happiness that we have in our lives through the connections that we surround ourselves with. If you are interested to find out more then you can find out what The Good Life suggests in part 2.
Their findings went on the share that people who are more isolated than they want to be found that their health declined sooner than people who were more connected to others. Calling on their research, the authors found that lonely people lived shorter lives. We know that life can be hard and that few of us live a straightforward life, however Robert Walldinger and Marc Schultz found that having ‘warm, connected relationships protect us ‘against the slings and arrows of getting old’.
The Good Life gives a range of practical advice about how we can harness the positive effect of connection to make our lives better, happier and healthier. It has an inspiring blend of research data and positive ideas that we can all apply in our day to day lives.
In future articles I will guide you through some of the ideas and techniques that Robert Waldinger and Marc Schultz suggest. If you are keen to find out more, then why don’t you watch Robert Waldinger's TED talk. Its in the all time top ten talks and is worth a watch.
In a dissatisfied world it is easy to get swept up with the need for us all to look after ourselves and manage our own needs. For those of us who believe that a better world exists when we connect with others to create a world that benefits the ‘all’, rather than the few then The Good Life is a beacon of hope. It shows the importance of connection and how we should consciously place it at the heart of everything that we do.
So, as you go through the next week and you want to boost the happiness that you feel remember that there's lots of proof that connection is vital for a flourishing life. If you are at a point where your life has fewer strong connections that you would like, then try talking to people at the supermarket or on the bus. There’s excellent research from Nick Epley, about how beneficial this can be,
Regular connection can be the key to understanding that we are stronger together than we are apart and that human potential is limitless. By reading the ‘The Good Life’ you can bring this into your world and the world of others.
By Claire Berry, Heartbond
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